Fic: Primeval: I Believe in Father Christmas

[bigtitch]

Title: I Believe in Father Christmas
Author: bigtitch
Characters: Stephen/Cutter, Lester/Lyle, Kermit, Ditzy, Maureen (OC)
Rating: NC-17, slash
Spoilers: None
Word count: 2000
Disclaimer: Not mine, no names, no packdrill.
A/N: Secret Santa for kerry_louise who asked for: Nick/Stephen and/or Lester/Lyle, Snow and Hot Chocolate with optional snark and a mention of the boys families

I think I managed to get them all in, but the muses were not up to a traditional Christmas fic.



Stephen walked through the doors into the ARC and immediately noticed something was wrong.

'Is it just me or is it cold in here?' he asked Kermit, who was passing by.

'Heating's off,' came the dispiriting reply. 'Norman's working on it though. Are you going to help peel sprouts?'

'Be along in a bit,' Stephen replied. He dropped off in his office and then went to find Cutter. He found him in the atrium standing guard over the ADD. Stephen quickly put his arm around him and dropped a wet kiss on the side of his neck and then dodged the swat of the arm that followed it.

'Merry Christmas,' he said.

'I though we'd said that already by text?' Cutter replied.

'Texting doesn't count.'

'Sexting more like!' Cutter looked stern. 'And warn me before sending erotic pictures of yourself to me. Lyle wanted to know what I was grinning at on my phone!'

'You should have shown him. Made him jealous! Where is he?' Stephen looked around for the tall officer. Lester was alone in his office.

'Kitchen, I think,' Cutter said.

'I'd better get down there, I said I'd help with the dinner.' He stood up. 'Coming?'

Cutter shook his head. 'I'm covering for Connor. Got to stay with his baby.'

Stephen came close and groped him quickly.

Cutter gave a squawk of 'CCTV!' and pushed Stephen's hands away.

'Later. In the bunk room,' Stephen whispered in his ear.

In the kitchen, Ditzy was smearing butter on two turkeys. Kermit was peeling potatoes and Lyle was laying out sausages in a baking tray and scowling.

'Merry Christmas!' Stephen said.

Merry Christmas!'

Merry Christmas!'

Merry sodding Christmas!'

'What's up?' Stephen wondered at Lyle's attitude. Earlier in the week he'd been upbeat about being on duty on Christmas Day, saying it was preferable to being with his family.

'Mum sent me *that* for Christmas!'

Stephen picked up the parcel. It was a hot chocolate set with a jar of gourmet hot chocolate, a cellophane parcel of marshmallows and a pink paisley patterned mug.

'It's...,' Stephen started.

'Pink!' Lyle snarled. 'It's pink. My relationship with Lester has obviously turned me into the daughter she's always wanted!'

A brief silence fell after that. Everyone avoided each other's eyes and Lyle went back to glaring at the sausages as though he could roast them just by looking at them.

'So, is it true the officers serve the men the Christmas dinner?' Stephen asked Ditzy in a voice he hoped wasn't too obviously bright and cheerful.

'Yes,' Ditzy said. 'We don't normally cook it though. Should be OK. I have detailed instructions from an expert.'

'Army chef?'

'My Mum!' Ditzy carefully pushed the two turkeys into the oven and set the automatic timer with reference to a handwritten note.

'Well done, Lieutenant,' Lester said walking into the room.

'How's the family doing?'

'More sugared-up and hyperactive than you would believe possible. I only caught glimpses of the children as they ricocheted past the webcam. They were going out for a snowboard before dinner, which should save my ex-wife's sanity.'

'Want to tackle the parsnips?' Ditzy asked, pointing to a formidable pile of root vegetables.

Lester, who had been looking carefully at Lyle, started slightly. 'Er, no. Thank you. I have paperwork to do. However, I shall pass the word along that this is the warmest place in the building.'

+++++

Stephen didn't know how much effort Lester put into keeping his promise, but in half an hour pretty much everyone on duty that day arrived in the kitchen and helped out. With so many people helping out, the work was soon done and Ditzy surveyed the pans of vegetables with satisfaction.

'Right, that's the boring stuff done. Any suggestions for entertainment?'

The ADD alarm went off.

+++++

Two black SUVs drove into the underground garage of the ARC and disgorged several wet and unhappy people. The anomaly had appeared inside a dense and prickly shrubbery in a small park. All the usual containment measures had been set up but had never been used. The anomaly had merely stayed there, raising people's hopes by fading at irregular intervals and then coming back to full brightness just as everyone thought they might be a prospect of getting back to the ARC.

After two hours of boredom it started to rain, the heavy drizzle that soaks through clothing in minutes, but is light enough to render any shelter useless.

'OK?' Lyle asked loudly. 'Who pissed off the Christmas Fairy?'

The anomaly lasted another four hours, having existed for no other apparent purpose than to make them bored, wet and cold. They squelched back through the prickly bushes too miserable to even feel relief at going back.

++++

The ARC, however, was warmer.

'Norman has fixed the heating,' Lester told them. 'He had to switch off the electricity to the building to do it, but it's been on for the past few hours. I believe hot water is available for those that want it.'

There was a small cheer from the soggy crowd in front of him.

Stephen stopped off in the bio-lab to check that all was well with Abby's experiments he had been put in charge of. Luckily they seemed to have survived with no problems to their automatic systems so he was spared any possible glares from the fierce blonde girl.

The sound of swearing reached down the corridor. He walked towards it, surprised as it was Ditzy's voice he was hearing. He couldn't remember the medic even raising his voice let alone swearing, but by the sounds of it he knew all the words.

Ditzy's profanities were coming from the kitchen and Stephen joined the curious crowd.

'It's the turkey,' Ditzy explained. 'Cutting the power reset the oven timer. They're just about tepid.'

'How long will they take to cook?'

'I wouldn't,' Ditzy shook his head. 'They've started cooking and cooled down. Heating them again - it'd be salmonella on a plate.'

The groans were louder than Ditzy's curses had been.

'Is this officially the worst Christmas ever?' Stephen asked Cutter beside him.

'Considering we can't even get drunk? Yes!'

'Do we have anything to eat?' Lester asked.

'Well the veg are OK,' Ditzy said.

'I've got some pot-noodles,' Finn offered.

'I think I'd prefer salmonella,' Lester said.

+++++


A shower, a change of clothes and a cup of tea later and Stephen was feeling a bit more cheerful. He and Nick had planned their own Christmas dinner for Boxing Day when they were both off work anyway, but the unfairness of how today was going still rankled. Especially when the only booze available were the liqueur chocolate ornaments on the Christmas tree - and some of them had been sucked dry.

Lester came down from his office and stopped beside him and Cutter.

'Do either of you know a Maureen Ellington? The landlady of the Ship Inn?'

The Ship was the nearest pub to the ARC. 'Mo? Yeah. Why?'

'Apparently she's at the main entrance wanting to speak to whoever's in charge.'

Stephen and Cutter exchanged glances and followed Lester to see what this was about.

Maureen stood beside Kermit who was on guard duty at the main gate. She got straight to the point. 'I saw you guys go out this morning. Did you get your Christmas dinner sorted before then?'

'No,' Lester said. 'It went wrong.'

'That's OK, we've got some spare from the lunches we put on today. Do you want it?'

'Yes,' Lester had the look of a man running to catch up. 'Yes, please. Thank you.' He reached inside his jacket. 'How much?'

Maureen glared at him. 'No need for that,' she said. 'I don't know what you're doing here. But I do know that it's about security. And I know the boys don't always come back in one piece. I can't do anything about that. But I can do something about feeding you. I'll send the bar lads round with the dishes. Drop them off when you've finished with them.' She nodded at them and then turned on her heel and left, not waiting for a reply.

'Merry Christmas!' Kermit yelled after her as no one else seemed able to make a sound.

+++++

Stephen didn't know if it was possible to overdose on turkey, but he seemed to be giving it a go. Maureen's lads had turned up with enough food for twenty and if the roast parsnips had gone a little dry no one was complaining. The mood in the ARC had changed to one that would make any Christmas-card writer proud, helped by the amount of booze in the Christmas puddings which easily bypassed the 'no alcohol on duty' rule.

The scientists had routed the army at Trivial Pursuit and now a rematch had been declared over Twister. Stephen noticed that Cutter was missing and left to track him down.

'Come and have a look at this!' Cutter beckoned Stephen from down the corridor.

'What is it?'

'You'll see.' Cutter looked like a naughty schoolboy.

Intrigued, Stephen followed him into the ARC's gym and found everything covered with a fine dusting of snow.

'What?' he asked as fine flakes continued to fall from the ceiling.

'It's the air con,' Cutter said. 'Norman fixed it too well in here!'

'I'd say.' Stephen looked round at the surfaces, calculating. 'I wonder if there's enough for a snowball.'

'Last of the great romantics,' Cutter sounded disappointed.

Stephen turned to find him holding a spray of mistletoe over his head.

'I don't need that excuse,' he said and bent his head to kiss Cutter firmly. It was the best moment of the day as he sank into the familiar taste of his lover. They stood for a long while, holding each other at the waist as they traded long, sweet kisses. Then Stephen's passion caught and he pushed his hardening erection again Cutter's.

Cutter backed off. 'CCTV!' he warned.

'You know what? Sod the CCTV!' Stephen said pursuing him. And then he stopped as Cutter froze in his arms. 'Grrr,' he said in Cutter's ear.

'Tonight,' Cutter said. 'I'll make it up to you.'

'In a bunk bed,' Stephen complained.

'Multilevel fun,' Cutter replied, grinning.

Stephen looked sceptical.

'I promise.'

Stephen dropped a kiss on Cutter's nose. 'I'll hold you to that.' He looked around. 'Now, I think today needs a snowball fight.' He started scooping up all the snow off the surfaces.

'Not much of a fair fight with one snowball,' Cutter said.

'Have you seen Finn with a snowball? These are the kind of odds I like!'

+++++

Just after eleven that night Stephen gave up trying to balance a plate of mince pies and two cups of tea and did the sensible thing and put them on tray. Lyle wandered into the kitchen, paper pirate hat still clinging to the back of his head.

'Not a bad day after all,' Stephen said.

Lyle patted his stomach. 'I hope no one expects me to do any running for the next couple of days,' he said contentedly.

'I still can't get over Mo sending us all that food.'

'Well considering the amount of money we've pushed over her bar...' Lyle started and then stopped. 'No, you're right. It was lovely of her. It made the day.' He glared at the pink mug in its box on the counter. 'Unlike some.'

'Oh I don't know,' Stephen said. I'm partial to hot chocolate myself on occasion. And warm, chocolatey marshmallows can be fun between two,' he added suggestively.

Lyle looked interested. 'But it's still pink.'

Stephen grinned. 'Who cares what colour it is if you're blindfolded?'

He winked at Lyle and left the kitchen heading for the bunk room he shared with Cutter. Behind him he heard the click of a kettle being switched on and Lyle started to sing 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' with the lyrics that included explosive devices and sex toys. Stephen smiled. It looked like someone's Christmas was going to finish better than it started. His smile broadened. If Cutter held good on his promises, so was his!

The End

And if you're curious about the title - it's from Greg Lake's song: